What to Do, What to Do

7/7/11

Despite recent whispers that the NFL lockout will soon be over, last week concluded with a slight waning of optimism. While most experts remain confident that the two sides will ultimately come to an agreement, there is no disguising the fact that we are approaching Judgment Day.

It is July 7^th, exactly one month before the Hall of Fame Game in Canton, Ohio — which the NFL insists remains planned as scheduled. With DeMaurice Smith and Roger Goodell finally joining the labor talks today, there will be a great deal of urgency in the Big Apple. For the first time in this depressing dragged out process, the play of real, live NFL games will depend on the success of these dealings.

If an agreement is not reached by the end of this week, that will leave only 4 weeks until the scheduled beginning of the preseason. Keep in mind that Free Agents have not been signed, Rookies have not received playbooks, and players have not yet worked out as a cohesive unit. In the cases of Titans, Broncos, and Raiders, the Quarterbacks are not yet familiar with the system of their new play-callers. If today and tomorrow do not produce positive news, it is awfully hard to fathom the NFL season beginning on September 8th.

Clearly, this is horrible news for several parties. For just five minutes, forget about the millionaires and billionaires. Of all the numbers discussed, there is one sad fact that sticks out:

Millions of fans will be thrown out of their normal Sunday routines from September through January. The question looms regarding how exactly people will adjust to their new schedule.

Ray Lewis, for one, believes that the crime rate will rise substantially if there is no NFL season. Whether this will be due to the unemployment of the NFL players or the lack of structure for fans, let’s remember one thing: when it comes to crime, Ray Lewis has some killer insight.

For those of us who won’t be breaking the law because there is no football on television, here are a few more positive ways to spend your Sundays:

1.) Home Depot/Bed, Bath and Beyond

Now that you won’t have to be on the couch all day, you can save all the exciting errands for Sunday. While it’s not football, it could make for a pretty nice day. Just ask Frank the Tank. Throw in a trip to Costco and you’ll still make it back in time for Sunday Night Football Undercover Boss.

2.) Help out around the house

Nobody will be happy about no football. Except wives and girlfriends everywhere. Now that there is no football on Sunday, you can finally fix that leak and mow that lawn. What? Not like you have anything better to do.

3.) Watch tapes of yesterday’s CFB Games

With no NFL, you will have to soak up all the pigskin you can. I’m talking UFL, CFL, and High School. Most importantly, however, watch as much college football as possible. As college football fans will know, there are often too many games on at once. It’s not easy to switch back and forth between LSU/Florida, Texas/Kansas State, and Michigan/Wisconsin, all on at 3:30 EST.

So…DVR the games that you are slightly less interested and watch them all day Sunday. Just make sure to avoid SportsCenter and the Bottom Line.

4.) HBO Marathons

No football, but there is still HBO. Don’t limit yourself to Entourage and Curb Your Enthusiasm in Primetime. Catch up on all your favorite series and watch them all day. That way, you won’t be Bored to Death and stuck watching MASH re-runs on FOX.

5.) Exercise

Most red-blooded males spend their Fall Sundays lying on the couch, eating nachos and pizza. If they get up, it’s between the early and late games to check their fantasy team. If they don’t have a mobile app for that.

While it won’t be as fun, it will be a whole lot more healthy if people can spend a couple hours at the gym. A few miles on the treadmill and some daily sit-ups could extend lives by a couple years. That way, you can actually get a few more seasons in. Great news for Bengals and Lions fans everywhere.

Plus, the wife won’t mind either.

6.) Golfing or Fishing

There are few things manlier than sitting down on the couch and watching a full day of football while carbo-loading. Without football, you’ll be feeling the need for some male bonding. The remedy: more golfing or fishing, depending on your preference.

Play 36 on Sunday or take an extra loop around the lake. Whatever you have to do to avoid being reminded of the lack of football, right?

7.) Pray (for football)

With no football on Sundays, there is no excuse for missing church. An SI poll showed that 13% of people would go to church more often if there is no NFL season. Not sure how many will take this approach, but it’s an option.

Not religious?

If nothing else, pray for football. Training camp starts in three weeks.